The 12 Steps From A Biblical Perspective Series: Steps 4 & 5: Get Ready for Change
by Robert T. Tucker, PhD
Need to search your heart? Are you getting ready to do a “searching and fearless moral inventory?” Who is capable of helping you look deep within your inner most self? Who knows your heart better than you? If you want to know what’s going on inside you, why not ask your Maker? God knows your strengths, your weaknesses, and every detail about you. He even knows the exact number of hairs on our head. When it comes to your heart and mind, God is the only One capable of revealing the problems, and presenting the solutions. Without Him, there is no recovery. As a matter of Biblical fact, Jesus is the solution to all our problems. Psychology can, at times, analyze problems, but it can’t fix (heal) them. Only God has the power to heal.
Before we begin to understand the purpose of Steps 4 and 5, let’s review the first 3 steps:
Step 1 was the realization that we were defeated and powerless over drugs and alcohol. It is a step of “coming out of denial.
Step 2 is the step of hope. Seeing we have a problem means nothing if we don’t believe we can find a solution to our problem.
Step 3 is a surrender of our will to God’s through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Once we’ve received Jesus Christ, we have all the tools necessary to continue through the process of biblical change. We are going to learn that steps 4 and 5 are critical in the “cleaning up” process of our life. This deals with our habitual sins and patterns, AND the deeper issues that drive these behaviors. We need to understand:
- The exact nature of the things we’ve done wrong to self, to God and to others
- The reasons why we do what we do (cause and effect)
A person can become a Christian, and even become sober, but if he or she never faces his or her issues, he or she will still experience internal conflict at a variety of levels. Anyone who has been a Christian for a longer period of time understands that simply accepting Jesus doesn’t instantly bring us the changes we desire. It is a process of change that happens over time through spiritual maturity. These steps are merely a “road map.” When empowered by the Holy Spirit, these steps guide us through the process of biblical transformation.
The Requirements
What is required in this process? There are simple ingredients: honesty, willingness and openness. On page 58 in the Big Book, it is written, “Rarely have we seen someone fail who has thoroughly followed these steps. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women that are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. It is clearly written that; if we follow the suggestions of those that have successfully pioneered before us, we will recover.
The Purpose of Step 4 and Step 5.
Step 4 is the reality check step. It is only when we have received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior that we have power to perform this step. Prior to that, we were blinded by our sinful desires and lusts. Without a surrender to our Lord, we were without power. Now, we are capable of seeing the reality of our behaviors as well as others, and we are able to do something about them. As we look at this step, we must remember some important truths.
- God loves the sinner, not the sin. He will never look at sinful behavior and approve of it. The behavior is just plain unacceptable in His eyes. He paid a hefty price for the forgiveness of it, and His position on this will never change.
- God wants to forgive us. The purpose of exposing bad behaviors is to seek His forgiveness, not to experience shame. God desires that we repent so that He can wash us clean. We are sin stained rags, cleansed by His blood and presented to God as white as snow.
- God wants to show us the roots behind our sin. We are actually living in the effects of another’s behaviors. God knows the summation of our life experiences and desires to clean us up and set us free at root levels.
- God loves us unconditionally. There is nothing we can do past or present that will change His love for us.
- God is asking us to face this step with Him, hand-in-hand, in order to experience a deeper level of His freedom. Choosing to do so allows us to become the person He created us to be as He proceeds to remove the various layers of dysfunction in our life.
Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
Why an Inventory?
As simplistic as it may sound, no one seeks solution for a problem they don’t believe exists. Step 4 and 5 are all about seeing things as they really are, not how we pretend them to be, and then properly dealing with them. Both steps require honesty and humility. Different sponsors utilize different approaches when it comes to the steps. In any case, the key ingredient necessary in experiencing a full healing is forgiveness.
Doing a “searching and fearless moral inventory” requires a fear remover. There is only One! The Bible tells us that God is love and that “perfect love casts out ALL fear“. So literally, a Fear-less search is a God-full search. The objective of these steps cannot be properly accomplished without Him. He not only helps with the search, but exposes, discloses, disposes and heals the wounds these behaviors have caused.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
In step five, three very important things take place.
- We admit (confess) to God – to receive His forgiveness. (1 John 1:9) “But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”
- We admit (confess) to our self, coming out of denial – and acknowledging the facts.
- We admit (confess) to another person for healing (James 5:16) “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed”
In order to guide and direct you in this process, we suggest that you take the following steps:
1. Find a sponsor or spiritual mentor, a brother or sister who is spiritually mature and godly – not one just “sitting “in a 12 step meeting. A good candidate would be one truly exhibiting the characteristics of Jesus. Remember, a wrong choice may be costly A sponsor/mentor should never try to replace the influence of the Spirit of God.
2. Properly work through the first three steps, accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Then, and only then are you equipped to proceed to step four.
3. Begin by writing your life story from childhood to current. Focus on the things that have hurt you or traumatized you; abandonment, disappointments, heartaches, unmet expectations, fears and any form of abuse. Include decisions you made that were wrong, and specific ways you felt you were violated.
4. Based on your story, focus in on specific people and situations that are painful. Write detailed lists expressing your thoughts, feelings and actions in those situations. For example, if a parent was verbally abusive, explain how you dealt with it. What were you thinking and feeling in that situation? How did you respond?
5. Write a list of the ways you have caused harm or injury to others. Include sexual sins if applicable. If it’s helpful, keep scripture close by that reminds you of God’s faithfulness. The enemy is prone to attack as you face self. God wants us to face these things so He can offer His forgiveness.
6. Write a list of how you have hurt yourself through your actions. Include sexual sins if applicable (sexual sins hurt us the most because they are sins against our body).
7. Write a list of the people who have hurt you in ways you don’t feel you deserve. As you begin to feel sad or overcome by anger, review your list of the things you have done wrong.
8. Realize that you can only be set free from sin through the blood of Jesus. You alone are powerless to stop sinning.
9. Realize that the people who have sinned against you have the same condition as you. While you don’t need to forgive their behaviors (especially since you can’t anyway – only God can forgive sin), in the name of Jesus, choose to forgive the people.
10. Prepare to share your list with God and your sponsor/mentor. You do not need to share it with another person in order for God to forgive you, but the Bible tells us that He heals us when we share our sin with others. (James 5:16)
11. Read the Word of God continually throughout the process. Spiritual maturity is a requirement in order to keep the freedom God so generously bestowed upon us. As we do our part, He is faithful and just to do His.
Full deliverance may not be immediate, but progressive as we begin to understand more about the sinful nature of our “flesh.” and as we continue to look into the various areas of our life that have been affected by demonic influence. We can put a label on them, such as; “character defects,” or “short-comings,” but the bottom line is that they all stem from sin, and need to be addressed as sin in order for them to be properly dealt with. All those unhealthy spiritual connections need to be addressed, confessed, and renounced, leading to new levels of freedom.
Remember, you can’t do this alone. You need your Creator to do this for you. He knows where you have been, and even more important, has a purpose and plan for your life. Give yourself to Him, allow Him to perform this process in your life and prepare for the transformation that will usher you into God’s peace, fulfillment and purpose.
Dr. Robert Tucker is the Director of New Life Spirit Recovery. He also trains and equips men and women to become certified drug and alcohol counselors for the state of California, utilizing biblical principles.