Four Things Jesus Would Do About Addiction

How God addresses addiction is something that would evoke different responses depending on who you ask. There are Christians that would frame addiction only as a sin issue, and thus would point out judgment, condemnation and punishment as God’s rightful and just response. There are others who may see addiction as solely a medical condition, thus view God as completely tolerant and sympathetic of the addict’s plights.

Read about God and Addiction Recovery.

At New Life Spirit Recovery, one of our greatest tasks and calling is to present a redemptive God. This is a God that neither views the addict with anger or apathy. Rather, He holds a fierce and deep interest in that person’s well being. Learning how to navigate between the negative reality of addiction and the life changing reality of God’s love is sometimes a difficult dance. But it is the dance of grace – the powerful mystery of who Jesus is and why He came to earth 2,000 years ago.

So what would Jesus do if He met an addict face to face? Would He judge, criticize, and threaten? Would He sympathize and understand? We don’t have to guess because we already possess the answer through God’s Word.

This article will explore four principles of “what would Jesus do” that we can apply to the struggling addict. No matter your background or faith, these are factual realities of how Jesus engaged with men and women with similar problems as addiction. Let’s look.

#1. Jesus Reached the Sick & Broken

Jesus came to reach broken people, not together people. He said “Healthy people don’t need a doctor–sick people do” (Matthew 9:12). He spent His time, resources and energy reaching these people.

Religious people were offended by the standards of Jesus because He was a friend of sinners. He would touch the unclean and minister to people in ways that tarnished religious protocols. He did this because He saw people as precious, valuable and in need of healing. The religious saw dirty people that deserved nothing but punishment.

Wanting to heal the broken didn’t mean He condoned sinners – He simply knelt down to their level in order to offer them a way out.

Today’s society often labels the drug addicts as “bad people”. Certainly, bad behaviors aren’t okay and warrant consequences. But Jesus provided an atmosphere where those bad behaviors could be transformed by Him. Jesus had no issue with being in the presence of sin because unless He had the opportunity to reveal Himself, those trapped in bondage would never have a way out.

In the same manner, Jesus has a heart-felt interest in the addict – He wants to the opportunity to approach that person in love. He wants to meet them where they are. No one ever had to clean up for Jesus. It was His job to clean them.

#2. Jesus Redeemed and Restored

It’s vital to understand that Jesus loved those people struggling with spiritual, emotional and physical ailments. But His love had a fierce, redemptive agenda. To love someone and let them remain in their hurt and brokenness would be cruel. What kind of God would merely pity the broken plight of the human heart, but have little ability to intervene?

The Jesus of the Bible met people empathetically. He sought to draw people by His love, thus allowing Him to enter into redemptive dialogue. Every encounter He had was a divine set up to bring them into a relationship with Him and prepare them for restoration. If He had any other agenda, He would not be loving.

The Jesus of the Bible knew that sin was destructive and needed to be overcome. He would not have said “don’t worry about it, I don’t mind. Let’s forget about it”.

#3. Jesus Confronted with Truth

Jesus met people where they were at without judgment, but had a marvelous way of confronting them with truth. The woman at the well, the rich young ruler, and the Nicodemus are all examples of how Jesus confronted a person with truth. This truth confrontation called them out of their denial and pointed to the very places where the hurt, pain, and sin lived. Through confrontation, Jesus would lay choices on the line that offered a new way out of their problems.

While this confrontation was fierce – He honored those He spoke to. Jesus of the Bible didn’t run around screaming at people and calling them sinners. He didn’t protest with signs on the street and call them bad names. He simply stooped down where they were, and then laid the options on the table. “Do you want life? Do you want to be free? Do you want to follow me? Do you believe that I am the answer?”

In a treatment program, loving confrontation is where transformation will occur. This confrontation must be done in love, not judgment. Confrontation done properly challenges one’s perspective by offering an opposing point of view.

But in that confrontation, the basic human dignity to choose is always what drives the dialogue. You don’t support change by simply cramming truth down someone’s throat and shaming them if they don’t believe.

At New Life Spirit Recovery, our counseling process challenges beliefs one at a time, offering a redemptive perspective and tangible Biblical solutions for the mind, body, soul, relationships, and all other areas of life. This confrontation lies at the heart of all healing and change. It’s the powerful truth that sets people free.

#4. Jesus Offered Intimacy

Those that received Jesus were met by friendship. They gave back to Jesus what He had given them, pledging their life to Him. Jesus didn’t come to only be a “clean up man.” He came for a deep, abiding relationship with those He saved.

Through intimacy, followers of Jesus became mighty warriors for God’s Kingdom. They would become the movers and shakers in the church. They would do the work of Jesus.

In recovery, this happens the same way. Jesus comes to initiate freedom, but His true goal is intimacy with Himself. He wants to be established as the Lord and King of their lives. A heart sold out to intimacy is one that will become healthy, whole and free to serve Him. God’s ultimate goal is to create sons and daughters with a mission and a purpose.

At New Life Spirit Recovery, we believe that the same Jesus that ministered and healed people in Biblical times is available in fullness today.

Do you need a trusted Christian treatment provider? We believe that addiction needs to be treated holistically – body, soul, and spirit. To learn more about what our programs have to offer, call us today at 866.543.3361

August 1, 2017May 25, 2019

The Power of Your “True Self”

As we engage in addiction, the enemy robs us of our “true self” with the many lies that we accept as truth. This happens because our addiction creates an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame, which in turn causes us to avoid and run away from God. As we drift further and further from God, unknowingly we also drift further and further away from who we really are. God is our “Identity Giver” and the longer and farther we drift from Him, the more of our “true self” we lose. It is God’s design for us to live in His identity for us. As we do, it is His intention for us to thrive as we bare and reflect His image to Him, to ourselves, and to the world around us.

This article is being written to highlight the importance and power that resides in living our lives in our “true self” as God intends and enables us to do. But to regain that truth within us, we need to be willing to go to battle. Not a battle against flesh and blood, but against the lies that keep our true identity hidden from us. The battle ground…our minds and what we choose to believe about God and ourselves.

We Are Who God Says We Are

The moment we understand the power of our minds and the individuality of our thinking and how we have control over how we think…we are truly able to experience true transformation. When we see ourselves the way God sees us…as His wonderful works and as a reflection of His image, then we see what is inside of us and begin to perceive ourselves and the world around us in a different way. (Ps. 139:14). Each of us is meant to bear His glory in our own unique way…we all have a beautiful way of stewarding eternity (Eccles. 3:11; Gen. 1-2). Seeing ourselves as we truly are…as God sees us…changes us from the inside out. Our “true self” is unlocked. This is much more that finding your “purpose”…it is about finding “yourself”…your “true self” that God created and sees.

We are created in and reflect His image. The world will lose out if you do not operate in your “true self”. You are a specific part of His reflection, the missing piece that brings a unique perspective and hope to the world. There is no one like you, which means there is something you can do that no one else can do. Because of who you are, your experience will enhance others around you. When you are not the “real” you, everyone misses out on knowing God better, because as His “Image Bearer” you reflect His image in a unique and beautiful way.

We Are Worthy

Only you can be your specific type of “self”. By operating in our God created “true self”, we celebrate who we are as God intended us to be! In a world where we are told that we’re not worthy or do not measure up to an expected standard, this celebration is very critical. We cannot truly live for God or transform our world around us if we hate what we see in the mirror. Your “real” self…as God sees you…is so deeply wired within us as bearers of God’s image…that when we recognize it, we develop an intimate awareness of, and desire for, the need to be “ourselves”. You become aware that you are fundamentally good (Gen. 1:31).

We Are More Than Enough

In addition, when we connect with our “true self” (as God sees us), we accept the truth that we are more than enough. As we begin to accept this truth about ourselves, we can walk in anticipation and freedom through life, rejoicing despite the circumstances that befall us. Operating in our “true self” brings satisfaction and contentment. It reveals our innermost qualities which are bound in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control (Gal. 5:22-23). It is hopeful…it never gives up, enduring through every circumstance.

Operating in your “true self” is the way you choose to see your world filled with love instead of fear. It is what we all crave, so that impatience and unkindness, irritability, pride and boastfulness, unforgiveness, wrong choices and trauma…all of which disrupt this fulfillment…cause us to seek to recapture this “true self” feeling in an attempt to restore order in our minds, bodies and spirit. Accepting our “true self” also removes us from the mindsets of shame and guilt. We can then enter into a mindset of hope of endless possibilities.

Your “true self”, when realized and accepted, will take you from missing the mark of being made in God’s image to stepping into who your truly are. In this way, you will move from trauma to freedom, from pain to peace, from indecision to action, from confusion to clarity, from envy to celebration, from frustration to anticipation, from being overwhelmed to being set free, from feat to courage, from suppressing issues to having the courage to face them, from numbing thoughts to capturing them, from passivity to passion, and from hopelessness to hope. It will help you understand what you are stewarding and how to remain a good steward of your life no matter what comes your way. If you understand your “true self”…your God given self…you will understand how you think, feel and choose and therefore how to renew your mind, enabling you to face life’s challenges (Ron. 12:2).

Our Identity Determines Our Recovery

For the recovering addict, what we accept about our identity can make the difference between true freedom and life…relapse or death. Our identity is fundamental to our nature, so we are always seeking after our “true self”. It is the core of who we are and it’s only when we find our “true self” in God’s identity of us that we will live in true hope, joy and love. Everyone is trying to identify us with all kinds of labels…and we all too often accept them and it usually isn’t good for us…or even true about us. God is combating those false identities and labels in your life with His truth about you really are to Him. Listen to that voice and live in peace and freedom!

July 17, 2017May 25, 2019

7 Things a Woman Needs in a Treatment Program

Women are created with unique and specific needs. When searching for a Christian drug and alcohol treatment program, understanding the needs of women specifically is vital to the long-term success of the program. What specifically should you look for her when searching for a program?

#1. Understand a woman’s greatest need is love.

There is no greater need than for a woman to feel loved. With it, she will flourish and thrive; but without love, she will struggle with gut-level fear, insecurity and emptiness. Drugs or alcohol have become counterfeit methods of filling that need for love.

Most woman have struggled with love in human relationships, and don’t know how to receive love from God. They may harbor hurts from the past that continue to affect their understanding of love here and now.

Through treatment, a woman’s capacity to give and receive love is explored. By offering her a stable and loving environment, she begins to hear about God’s love through testimonies, and sees it modeled by those around her.

Despite what any modern medication or modalities may tell you, receiving God’s love and learning to love others is the beginning of all forms of redemption. It lies at the heart of all healing.

#2. Understand the power of honor and forgiveness.

Statistics prove that women are the ones most negatively stigmatized by addiction. Addiction can lead to many other unhealthy behaviors involving sexuality, negative parenting, failed relationships and career loss. This induces a profound level of shame. Once shame is rooted in a woman’s heart, she will operate through performance, or use addiction to check out altogether.

Women that live by shame either succumb to failure, or overly compensate through perfectionism. In either case, this shame will plummet her to the depths of despair, only provoking her to use drugs or alcohol even more.

Honor is the method God uses to usurp the power of shame. It ascribes value to her, and removes the toxicity of her self loathing. This honor comes with the power of the cross – it is not something that can be merited, but something that is received by grace. Grace is the most important ingredient needed to promote her into her true destiny. Thus, it is the central ingredient necessary for a woman to prosper in a drug and alcohol program. While sin needs to be addressed, grace is where the remedy is applied.

Seek a program where true honor can be found – it will be her lifeline.

#3. Understand her need to be validated.

Women are created for intimacy and connection. They need the connection of other females who empathize and understand what they are going through. A woman being heard and understood has incredible therapeutic benefit. It will ignite comfort and confidence in her capacity to share and to find the safety to heal.

At New Life, women are immersed in conversation that reveal the heart. They are seen, known, and validated. And they are taught that in God’s eyes, they are given that same compassion and attention. It is amazing how many women believe their needs don’t matter. For her to comprehend she is worthy of being heard will lead to unthinkable benefits.

#4. Understand her need for self-care.

Women have pressure for beauty and youthfulness. In fact, many women enter programs with disordered eating and unhealthy dietary practices simply because they feel bound by the pressure of society. On the other hand, women can give up self care in the busyness and pressures of life, leaving her vulnerable to many other health conditions.

Self care isn’t just about eating – it’s about a mindset of self love. She must understand that her body is precious and deserves adequate care and rest. At New Life, we instruct healthy principles for eating and diet to allow a practical application of this principle.

#5. Understand her need to feel.

Women are created with a deep capacity to feel. In the healing process, emotions need to be tapped into and drawn out. A woman’s ability to feel and to grieve pain and loss will get her in touch with her true self.

Addiction clogs the heart and places false coverings over those places of hurt and injury. Through the sacred healing process, these walls are broken down and her vulnerability to feel begins to tenderize and prepare her to walk into her true identity.

We say in program you “feel to heal.” A woman is uniquely designed for emotions and thus her emotional connection is vital to her long-term well being.

That’s why our counseling process seeks to tap into the emotional side of her life and give her the safety to feel what has been trapped inside. It is our purpose at New Life to allow pain to be felt and to navigate a woman out of false comfort and into God’s hands.

#6. Understand her need for relationship skills.

A woman needs to learn how manage relationships and to deal with imbalanced relationships, abuse and other serious conditions through education and understanding. Through boundaries she gains practical knowledge how to say “yes” and “no” in relationships. By learning God’s love, she gains access to her created design for intimacy.

At New Life, relationships skills are taught to empower a woman to love others through healthy communication, boundaries, and connection. We use an intensive approach including codependence materials that drive deeply to the heart and soul of a woman’s relationship issues. This is where deep and lasting transformation takes place.

#7. Understand she is created to be empowered.

A woman needs to be empowered to make wise choices, to find her life calling and to be everything God created her to be. A woman was not designed for weakness, but for strength. When God walks a woman through the recovery process, He teaches her how to trust in His love. If she is fiercely independent, she will be challenged to walk in obedience. If she is dependent, she will be prone to want others to make choices for her.

God wants to promote a woman into a position of wisdom where she makes choices that honor God, without feeling obligated to simply comply to expectations. God knows that women are competent, loyal and filled with incredible gifts that are unique to His Kingdom. He wants to unlock the mystery and majesty of this unique design by first loving her, and then teaching her how to walk in the Holy Spirit and tap into the gifts He has given her.

It is our prayer that discharge planning will involve a plan for a woman to move forward into God’s purpose and design for her future.

At New Life Spirit Recovery, we believe a woman’s true identity is found in Jesus Christ. Learning to embrace the design of a woman is a deeply rich and purposeful journey. If you know someone who needs help, please don’t hesitate to get help today! Learn more about the clinical activities we use to take a woman out of bondage and into freedom in Christ. Call us at 866.543.3361 or learn more about our treatment program by clicking here.

July 10, 2017May 25, 2019

4 Tools for Successful Long-Term Recovery

You’re coming to the “home stretch” of your rehab program and your exit date is just around the corner! You begin to seriously contemplate what life outside of rehab will be like. As you ponder it, you find yourself feeling two powerful emotions at the same time. On one hand you are feeling excitement as you are looking forward to getting on with your new lives, being reunited with family and going back to work or school, etc. On the other hand, there is a nagging under current of anxiety that has its roots in your fear of relapsing…especially if you’ve been in rehab before.

Below are some helpful tips on how to walk in your recovery and not in the fear of relapsing.

#1. “What’s best for my recovery?”

This is a question that you need to get used to asking yourself on a regular basis! You need to be fully aware that the hour you step out of your rehab program…”Game on!” The Bible warns us all that the Enemy is crouching like a hungry lion in the tall grass of life ready to pounce and take us out at any moment. Some of the ways you can expect attacks to come will be:

unexpected texts or phone calls from “old friends” who want to “get together”
family or friends inviting you to a party where you know alcohol will be served
family holiday celebrations with unhealthy family members
old unhealthy romantic relationships who want to “see how you’re doing”

This list of temptations can go on and on and you are probably already very familiar with many of them. When these temptations come your way…STOP!…and ask yourself, “What is best for my recovery?” Then listen to the answer you hear in your heart. This will be the message from “The Counselor” within you (the Holy Spirit) guiding you with the proper actions to take. Most likely, the action you will be hearing to take will be in conflict with how you are feeling at the moment. Your emotions will try to give you the illusion that this is too difficult to do…especially if it involves family, friends, or a romantic relationship. But The Counselor not only directs our paths, He also empowers us to walk them! TRUST HIM…TAKE THE ACTION…and the temptation will flee and you will remain in your sobriety. That victory will give you more power to overcome the next temptation when it comes. Not to mention get you more intimately familiar with the Holy Spirit with in you!

#2. Change your contact information!

This means you change your phone number(s), change your email address(s), delete all unhealthy contacts from your phone and social media. Get rid of all your secret email accounts, social media pages and phones! You MUST CLEAN HOUSE! Then when you change your phone number and email address, only give it to the people in your life that you trust and want to see you stay clean and sober! In addition, ask those you give your contact information to, NOT to give it to anyone without your permission. This may seem like a hassle and an easy one to justify for not doing, but if you don’t…you will be found by the very people you’re trying to keep out of your life that will take you back into your addiction. You must protect the gift of your sobriety with as much energy as you were in trying to stay in your addiction! This one step can go a long way in helping you feel the peace and joy of your newfound freedom from addiction!

#3. Write a “Good-Bye” letter to your addiction!

There is something very powerful about bringing issues in our life to finality through writing. If we’re honest with ourselves, our addiction was our “Mistress”, “Lover”, “Best Friend”. It gave us the illusion that it was taking something away from our lives that was very painful and giving us “relief”. The only problem, of course, was that after the high was gone, the pain was still there and we became a little more “dead”…inside and out. So, just as we would say, “Good-Bye” to any relationship that we choose to move on from, we need to do the same with your addiction.

Sit down with a pad of paper and a pen and before you begin, picture your addiction as a real person with an appearance and personality. Remember the pain, destruction, mayhem, brokenness and devastation that Mr. or Miss Addiction ushered into your life. Begin to write your “Good-Bye”! Let your words be powerful, direct, honest and FINAL to Addiction! Do NOT leave the back door open for it! Kick it out the front door and change the locks! After you write this letter, frame it and hang it up some place that you will see every day. For the next 30 days, read this “Good-Bye” letter in the morning when you wake up and in the evening when you go to bed. Then read it once a day after the initial 30 days. This will serve as a strong reminder to you when temptation comes your way that this relationship is OVER!

#4. Write a list of all your pain!

This goes hand in hand with tip #3. After you have written, framed and hung up your “Good-Bye” letter to Addiction, the next tip is to now sit down and make a list of all the hurt, pain, broken relationships, lost jobs, sacrificed opportunities, or heartache that your addiction created for you and brought in your life. Include in that list what your addiction is waiting to bring into your life next time should you choose to invite it back. Title this list, “The Pain of My Addiction”. Just like your “Good-Bye” letter, frame this list and hang it up next to your “Good-Bye” letter. Read this list all the way through after every time you read your “Good-Bye” letter.

Why do this? Because temptation is an interesting thing…when our addiction tempts us, we almost NEVER think of the pain it will cause us or the consequences that await us if we give in to it. We only think about what it will do for us NOW and what a relief it will bring us. You know when we think about the pain and consequences? AFTER WE DO IT!! Then it’s too late! SO…let’s short circuit temptation! By reading your “Good-Bye” letter and “Pain List” every day, you will sear in your mind the pain and consequences of your addiction. So when the temptation comes, instead of fanaticizing what a great reunion you will have with your addiction, you will think of the pain and consequences! Couple that realization with the power of your intimate prayer life with God and your temptation won’t have opportunity to take root in your new life!

These are just a few tips that have proven to be helpful for many of our clients who have come through our programs at New Life Spirit Recovery. These suggestions are most effective when our connection with our God remains open and intimate on a daily basis. The truth is, no “helpful tip” by itself will keep us in recovery…there has to be Power in the tools or the tools don’t work! That Power is our personal connection with Jesus Christ!

June 26, 2017May 25, 2019

Rebuilding Trust After Addiction

You’re feeling pretty good about yourself after engaging in some of the hardest work of your life…your recovery from your addiction! But unfortunately, the work doesn’t stop for you just because you’ve completed your 30, 60 or 90-day program. As a result of your addictive behaviors, you’ve come to realize that there has been some serious damage done to the loving relationships in your life. Some of the most serious damage done is the loss of trust. Trust is foundation for every relationship and without trust, a relationship cannot exist and thrive the way God intends it to.

The “Initial Trust Foundation”

For the most part, every relationship starts off with the gift of trust at some level. Depending upon the relationship, the initial trust levels will vary, but it is on this “initial trust foundation” that we are afforded the opportunity to grow in our relationships as trust increases. When this trust foundation has been breached or broken, the relationship goes into a crisis. This crisis is also dependent upon the type of relationship. For example, trust lost at work may create the crisis of a lost job, but the loss of trust in a marriage may cause the crisis of a divorce. Both hurt, but the crisis in the more intimate relationship (marriage) will create greater and more painful consequences.

Does this mean that once trust is lost that it can never be regained again? No, not necessarily…but it will depend on some very important decisions made by both the “offender” of the trust…and the one on the hurt side of the broken trust…the “offended”.

Will You Do Whatever It Takes?

If you find yourself on the “offender” side of a broken trust relationship as a result of your addiction, and you are surrendered to do whatever it will take to lay a new “initial trust foundation” so that your broken relationship can have a fighting chance to be resurrected, restored and healed…then this article is for you! But be warned, the solutions suggested in this article are not for the half-hearted or double-minded who simply want everything to be the way they used to be and have everyone trust them like nothing ever happened. It will take lots of hard, persistent long-term effort on your part. So…if you are ready to begin…read on!

Requesting and Offering Forgiveness

Before a relationship can move forward from any hurt or brokenness, forgiveness MUST be requested by the “offender” and given by the “offended”. The offended party must feel the sincerity of the request by the person seeking forgiveness at an emotional level. The one seeking forgiveness needs to be specific in every way possible as to how they have offended and why they want the forgiveness for the other.

While forgiveness may be given, that does not mean that reconciliation is automatic. When the offended person forgives the offender in the relationship…the offended person is allowing the offender to have the opportunity to rebuild trust. It is the responsibility of the offender alone to rebuild the trust, not the other way around. As the offended person begins to feel that the offender is trustworthy…reconciliation begins to happen. But before any relationship can experience reconciliation, forgiveness MUST be requested and given by both parties.

Surrender to Some Truths

Assuming that forgiveness has been requested and given, now the work of rebuilding trustworthiness begins. Before we start to do anything, we need to be completely surrendered to these truths:

“I have NO TRUST, even though I feel trustworthy in my heart.”
“Trust is given to me…I can’t demand it or take it.”
“Trust is given to me in their timing…not mine.”
“It may take a very long time before I get trust…and maybe never.”

The Work of “Giving Up Freedom”

Now that forgiveness has been requested and given and you’ve surrendered your spirit to some vital truths…the work of “giving up freedom” begins! While this may seem counter intuitive and confusing…even painful…the only way to begin rebuilding the trust is to give up our freedoms so that we can re-enter the relationship that we proclaim that we want so badly. Of course, the more intimate the relationship, the more freedoms must be surrendered.

So what are these freedoms I need to give up? Again, it depends upon the level of intimacy in the relationship, but for the sake of illustration, let’s look at a marital relationship.

Step One: Ask yourself, “If my spouse did to me what I did to him/her, what would I need from them to prove their trust worthiness?” Answer that questions honestly and then ratchet it up one or two more notches! Make a list of the things you would want and begin to implement them. If you would want your spouse to have a phone tracker…then you get a phone tracker. If you would want your spouse to justify any ATM and cash spending with receipts, then you keep and present all receipts. If you would want to test your spouse for drugs and alcohol every day, then you submit yourself to testing every day. If you would want a computer accountability program on your spouse’s computer, then put on your computer. The key is that these are freedoms that you surrender of your own free will…not freedoms that you are being “strong armed” in giving up by your spouse or loved one.

Step Two: Inform your spouse that you are surrendering these freedoms for however long it takes him or her to trust you again…and mean it! Let your spouse know that you are doing this because you love him/her and want to demonstrate your love through your trustworthiness to them and to prove that you really have changed. After you’ve shared your list of surrendered freedoms, if they request that you add something onto your list that will help them, add it with joy and gladness in your heart! Another opportunity to prove yourself!

Step Three: Be trustworthy, patient, and keep a humble attitude. You’re in this for the long haul. Remember that you created this issue, it’s up to you to do what you can to make it better. Results won’t come over night. Trust, once lost, doesn’t come back as quickly as it was lost. It takes time, consistency, patience, and the grace of God for trust to bear out its fruit in a broken relationship. What is that fruit…a restored and more intimate relationship with your loved one, God and regained freedoms…physically, emotionally and spiritually!

A Note of Caution

If you diligently follow these instructions and run this marathon with the Lord…and if by the grace of God your loved one presents back to you the gift of their trust…DO NOT MOCK IT! Because if you lose it again…chances are it will be gone forever!

May God bless you with an extra measure of His Spirit as trustworthiness thrives in your life!

Are you still struggling with a relationship and need to learn about our treatment program? Click here.

Learn more about our codependence resources to have healthy and whole relationships.

June 22, 2017May 25, 2019

When Life Hurts

Often times in our recovery process, we go through what seems to be insurmountable struggles as we are learning to live life in our recovery. These struggles can appear in almost every area of our lives: physically, emotionally, relationally, vocationally, financially and spiritually. In the midst of all our struggles in recovery, it is very easy for us to feel like we are the only ones experiencing such trials and tribulations.

It’s not long before we find ourselves turning our voices to God asking, “God, if you are so good, why are you letting me struggle so hard?!” Struggles aren’t fun to go through and often times they can make us feel like we are failing or doing something wrong in our efforts to stay in our recovery. Our struggles in our recovery can also make us wonder, “What’s the point of all of this? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?” If we aren’t careful, the voices that we hear coming out of our struggles can put us in a place of hopelessness and a relapse won’t be far behind.

Unfortunately, life is full of struggles and there’s no way to live life without them. While some struggles in our lives do come as a result of choices that we make, not all struggles necessarily mean that we are failing or doing anything inherently wrong. It could actually be God’s way to strengthen us for the next level of healing and growth for our lives…and in that struggle, transforming us into a stronger and more beautiful person.

The Story of the Butterfly

To help illustrate God’s divine purpose of our struggles in recovery, let’s take a look the struggle of the butterfly.

One day, a man found a butterfly cocoon in his garden. He watched it for several days anticipating the emergence of a beautiful butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then, it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further. So, the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But, it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support its swollen body, which he thought would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to become what it was intended to be.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restriction of the cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes, our struggles in recovery are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us and keep us from enjoying deeper healing, transformation, and experiencing the fullness of the life that God intends for us.

Struggles Are Necessary for Growth

When we resist or try to run away from our struggles, we need to realize that we may actually be resisting the very miracle that God is waiting to give us. It’s the endurance of our struggles that make us strong and gives us the strength to walk joyfully and freely in our recovery!

I asked for Strength…and God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom…and God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity…and God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage…and God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love…and God gave me Troubled People to help.

I asked for Favors…and God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted…and everything I needed!

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction or in the midst of a relapse, we at New Life Spirit Recovery are here for you to help you overcome your struggle. Don’t wait any longer and contact us today at 866-543-3361 and let us help you be an overcomer!

June 5, 2017May 25, 2019

How to Choose a Christian Sponsor

This article is written with the understanding that the “official” stance of AA is that, “A good sponsor who is an atheist does not try to persuade a religious newcomer to abandon faith, nor does a religious sponsor argue theological matters with an agnostic newcomer.” That a sponsor should never impose his or her personal views on the sponsoree. This stance makes sense if a sponsor’s and sponsoree’s views of their “Higher Power” are different. But the foundation of this article is coming from the perspective that having a Christian sponsor for the Christian sponsoree has greater advantages and should be seriously pursued.

For a Christian in recovery, having a C of “kindred faith” will not only give the 12 Steps more authority and power in our recovery, but together we can access deeper healing of the soul (mind, emotions and will) through mutual participation in prayer, deeper application of Biblical truth and encouragement into a deeper personal intimacy with the Creator of the 12-Steps…God!

So this is written not to dispute basic AA principles, but to help guide the recovering Christian to find a Christian sponsor who will not only do everything that an AA or NA sponsor is suppose to do, but who will also help us stay in fellowship connection with the Great Physician and Counselor who IS our RECOVERY. Someone who will keep us connected to both the Truth and the Truth Giver.

Where Do You Find A Christian Sponsor?

Alcoholics Anonymous began in 1935 by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, who both found their recovery through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and Biblical truth. Hence, AA’s roots are found in the Bible and the earliest AA meetings promoted a personal relationship with God. As the years passed, the Bible was deemphasized in efforts to make AA more “user friendly” and God was replaced as a “Higher Power”. This way, people who had no faith could receive the principles of the Bible (the “12 Steps) without having to accept the Creator of the “12 Steps”…but instead identify their “Higher Power” as anything they wanted it to be. As a result, most AA Meetings avoid talking about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit directly.

However, in 1990, John Baker from Saddleback Church founded “Celebrate Recovery” in response to this missing element in the modernized AA Program. While Celebrate Recovery functions in many ways like other traditional twelve-step recovery programs, there are program features that are specific to Celebrate Recovery. One major feature is that it is a Christ-centered program.

While there are some AA Meetings that are Christ-centered, they are very difficult to find. So the easiest place to locate a Christian Sponsor is by attending local Celebrate Recovery meetings. You can search for local Celebration Recovery Groups by going to: locator.crgroups.info and type in your city, state or zip code.

If you live in an area where there aren’t any Celebrate Recovery groups, you may need to attend AA Meetings and your sponsor may need to come from this source. You might be able to find a fellow Christian who is attending the same AA Meeting that has some significant sobriety and who is willing to be your sponsor. You can search for AA Groups near you by going to: www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-local-aa.

If you cannot locate a Christian in your AA Meeting, you may need to ask a person who is not a Christian to be your sponsor. If that’s the case, try to also obtain a Christian “Mentor” whose relationship with Jesus is one that you admire and desire to emulate. You will most likely find this person at your church through Bible Studies or Small Group Ministries. So, in this scenario, you would have an “AA Sponsor” to help with the 12 Steps and a “Spiritual Mentor” who will help you grow in your relationship with God.

The other option you may want to consider is to start a Celebrate Recovery Group yourself. This does take some commitment, work and dedication, but if the Holy Spirit has laid this on your heart, He will empower you to get it off the ground. While this might be a scary option for you, one of the greatest ways to stay in your recovery is to be leading or mentoring others in their recovery. You can go to: http://www.fellowshipnwa.org/start-a-cr-ministry to learn more about how to start a CR Group in your location.

What Is A Christian Sponsor?

Basically, a Christian sponsor is someone who has something that we want in terms of sobriety, personal integrity, and spiritual maturity. A Christian sponsor is a major ingredient in our aftercare program that will assist us in our journey to recovery. Studies have shown that if the person receiving sponsorship views his or her sponsor as having similar recovery goals and approaches to achieve those goals, outcomes are better. So as a Christian walking out our recovery, it is important to find a sponsor who is also of kindred spirit, or as the Bible puts it, “equally yoked”.

Having a Christian sponsor should be thought of as a “buddy system”. Just like when we go out swimming in deep waters it’s strongly suggested that we have a buddy to help us navigate the unforeseen undertows and reefs. In sobriety, there are lots of surprises that can easily pull us under because we are still very “raw” and “fragile” to reality and our spiritual walk. The experiences of our Christian sponsor (both in addiction and long term sobriety) serve much like the lifeguard at the pool or on the beach who is watching us, advising us and coming to our assistance when needed.

Our Christian sponsor should be modeling for us what it looks like to face life’s terms with the needed strength and guidance from God. They need to be the type of person that we can learn by watching and by imitating them. The Apostle Paul understood this important principle when he encouraged the believers in Corinth by saying, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV) Hence, it is very important that we look for a Christian sponsor that is walking intimately with God themselves…for we have a far better chance of permanent recovery with a sponsor who models not only what needs to be done, but how to connect with the loving, relational God who empowers us to do what needs to be done.

A Christian sponsor needs to care enough about us to “risk” the friendship by telling us the truth when needed. Christian sponsors need to show us “the path” and it must be done unselfishly and without hesitation. Our Christian sponsor will not be effective or helpful to us if he or she is just being our friend. They have to be walking in truth and be willing to speak that truth to us…as hard and as upsetting that may be for us to hear.

Most good Christian sponsors have almost the same temperaments…faith, hope, patience, honesty, humility, strength, and a willingness to show their own weakness as they are in touch with the reality of God’s grace in their lives. It is in this humility we should be able to see that human nature will only take us so far and that the keys to our ongoing sobriety lie within spiritual truth and connection with God.

Once again, our Christian sponsor should teach us by “doing”. Not just by telling us, but by modeling for us. Our Christian sponsor should demonstrate to us how life really works on this side of recovery when God is in control. As we learn to live this new life that was modeled for us by our Christian sponsor, we will learn from them at a deeper level and see them as the “blessing” in our sobriety.

Choosing A Christian Sponsor

Below are some of the things you should be looking for in a Christian sponsor and some issues to steer away from.

An Effective Christian Sponsor:

Spiritual Maturity

Is a Christian
Attends Church regularly
Demonstrates a trust in God
Experiences a daily person time with Jesus Christ
Demonstrates a familiarity with the Holy Spirit

Recovery Maturity

Has one or more years of continuous sobriety
Attends CR, AA or NA meetings on a regular basis
Is familiar with the approved core program
Does not over extend schedule and has adequate time to be a sponsor
Sponsors only same sex

Questions To Ask

Do you attend CR, AA or NA on a regular basis?
How long have you been sober?
What do you feel is the primary role of a sponsor? (The correct answer: help the newcomer work through the steps.)
How many people are you presently sponsoring?
How do you feel about meeting outside of CR, AA, NA on a regular basis, and how often? (A good sponsor meets with a new person at least weekly.)

Things To Avoid

The sponsor does not emphasize the need to work through the steps.
The sponsor lacks personal boundaries and “demands” that a “sponsoree” helps solve the sponsor’s personal or social issues.

The Truth About Your Sponsor

We need to understand that no matter how smart, how educated, or how spiritual our Christian sponsor is, they do not have the power to help us stay sober. Our Christian sponsor’s job is to point the way by guiding us through the steps in the power of the Step Giver…God. Because by doing this, they help us with getting on the path with God and His intended purpose for us in our sobriety. It is God’s healing that happens to us and not the fancy or heartfelt words of our Christian sponsor. God’s work does the miracle…our Christian sponsor is simply there to guide us to the Path.

Article contributed by Dan Delghi, D.Div

For information about the treatment program at New Life Spirit Recovery, click here.

June 2, 2017May 25, 2019

Choosing a Sober Living House

Congratulations! You’ve either completed, or are about to complete, one of the most courageous journeys you have ever taken – your rehab program. Whether your rehab was 30, 60, 90 days, or longer, you have persevered and your hard work in dealing with the root issues of your addiction has given you healing, freedom, peace and a great sense of accomplishment. But now what?

You might be feeling some trepidation over the reality of now having to live out your recovery in the “real” world. A place where it won’t be so safe and temptations are poised and ready to pounce at any given moment when you least expect it. In addition, you know that the place you came from is full of “triggers” that helped fuel your addiction, such as a dysfunctional spouse, family member or old friends. In your heart you know that if you go back, there is a possibility that you will go right back into your addiction.

Hopefully, as you honestly recognize these potential pitfalls to your recovery, you will want to set yourself up to succeed and protect the freedom you have from your addiction. Because you realize that you are still very fragile and vulnerable in your recovery, it may be wise for you to not go back into that unhealthy environment and instead, transition into a sober living house.

What Is A Sober Living House?

Sober living houses provide you with the opportunity to remove yourself from familiar and toxic communities and dysfunctional influential people. It may feel very uncomfortable to do this, but there’s a saying in recovery; “If you are serious about your recovery, you only have to change one thing…EVERYTHING!” Changing your surroundings and friends significantly increase your chances of continued freedom from addiction.

Sober living houses also provide a healthy transition from a highly structured treatment program to a less-restrictive environment so that you can more successfully transition towards independence. Most sober living houses will require you to be proactive in working on your recovery program, attend 12-Step or Celebrate Recovery meetings, follow house rules and attend regular house meetings. You will most likely be expected to find work, look for your own housing, and work on mending relationships that were hurt by your addiction. Sober living houses have a zero tolerance for drugs or alcohol and will evict anyone caught violating this rule. This is done to protect you and the other houseguests.

It is important to choose a sober living home that offers the necessary structure and support for you during this crucial next stage of your recovery.

Choosing A Good Sober Living House

Not all sober living houses are created equal. Sober living houses are abundant across the nation and you’ll want to make sure the sober living house you choose offers qualities and features that will ultimately be supportive to your recovery success. So how do you go about looking for a sober living house and what do you look for?

#1. Visit In Person

Procrastination is our worst enemy when it comes to transitioning from a rehab program into a sober living. As a result, many rehab clients wait until the last minute to locate a sober living house. In desperation, they start making phone calls and end up going to the first sober living house that has an open bed. This is a recipe for disaster! Avoid this “desperation shopping” and start looking for a sober living house at least 2 weeks before leaving rehab.

See if your rehab will give you a pass to go out with a family member or with a trusted individual to visit in person the sober livings you are interested in.
Interview and observe every sober living house on your list.

The following will help you know what to look for, what to inquire about and what to avoid.

#2 Location and Safety

Another important factor in choosing a sober living house is its location and safety. It would be great if the sober living house that you are looking at is located near your meetings, work, church and healthcare providers. You may not have a vehicle to drive to these important meetings, events and services, so you will want to be able to get to them easily by foot, bicycle or public transportation. You will also want to explore whether or not the sober living house is going to be a jeopardy to your physical safety and your sobriety. Is it located in a safe neighborhood? Does the sober living house have a strong staff? Does the sober living staff truly care about the well-being and success of its residents? Who owns the sober living house? How often are staff and residents tested?

#3. Licensed Or Not

Many of sober living houses are not managed well and do not monitor the tenants as promised. There can be problems such as house managers who are rarely present, violence in the homes, or house managers who turn a blind eye toward a tenant who is obviously using drugs or alcohol in order to not upset the cash flow. In California, sober living houses are not licensed or required to report to any agency or local government. However, in California, there are Sober Living House Associations that oversee health, safety, and operations of the houses. These include the Sober Living Network (SLN) and California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals (CCAPP). Due diligence is strongly encouraged when considering a sober living house.

#4 Rules and Accountability

It’s important to find a sober living home that implements more than just a daily routine…it should also implement rules and regulations, such as curfews and a zero-tolerance drug-free environment.

You want to find a house that supervises you and holds you accountable.
Ask around and find out which sober living houses have a good reputation and which ones aren’t so good.

Why would you want to move into a sober living house that won’t prepare you for the structure of life and keep you accountable in your young sobriety?

#5 Atmosphere

The mood and spirit that you sense from a sober living house is extremely important. Pay attention to your intuitive feelings. Do you get a good vibe from the people currently living there? Is there a sense of camaraderie? Does it appear to be a positive environment or does it project negativity? You will be living here for a while, so be sure that you feel good about the “spirit” of the sober living house you are considering.

#6 Strong Staff

A strong staff will make or break a good sober living house. When evaluating a sober living house, it’s important to find one that has a staff that truly cares about you and your success…but you also want a staff that’s not afraid to enforce the rules and call you on your “stuff”. A firm support system can be seen in policies that enforce regular drug testing or encouraging residents to attend 12-Step or Celebrate Recovery meetings – both of which can make or break your early recovery.

# 7. Cost

You need to find a sober living home that you can afford based upon your income. There are sober living houses that have different financial requirements. Some houses offer scholarship programs for the newly sober resident who is looking for a job. It is vital that you find a house that is going to work with your situation. At most sober living houses, you will be responsible for rent, utilities, groceries and other necessities. Find out what your payments cover. By knowing what you can afford, you can narrow your choices and eliminate the options that are out of your price range.

#8. Things To Avoid

There are some things that you should avoid in your search for a sober living house. You want to avoid those sober living houses that don’t have 24-hour supervision. Sober living houses that have a low staff to client ratios also need to be avoided. You should also avoid sober living houses where the staff is not trained or equipped to deal with those in recovery. If a facility does not perform drug testing or offers little or no educational programs, life skills training or support groups – stay away. Additionally, if the facility does not provide referrals to medical or mental health professionals, you would be wise to look elsewhere.

Locating a good sober living can be a daunting task, but if you start early and invest the time and energy into this next level of your recovery, it will reward you for a lifetime.

Need treatment first? Learn about our treatment program.

May 25, 2017May 25, 2019

Facing Struggles to Gain Recovery Strength

Often times in our recovery process we go through what seems to be insurmountable struggles as we are learning to live life in our recovery. These struggles can appear in almost every area of our lives: physically, emotionally, relationally, vocationally, financially and spiritually. In the midst of all our struggles in recovery, it is very easy for us to feel like we are the only ones experiencing such trials and tribulations.

Why Do You Allow My Struggles?

A Butterly Portrays the Victory in Struggle

To help illustrate the God’s divine purpose of our struggles in recovery, let’s take a look the struggle of the butterfly.

One day a man found a butterfly cocoon in his garden. He watched it for several days anticipating the emergence of a beautiful butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and could go no further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

Sometimes our struggles in recovery are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us and keep us from enjoying deeper healing, transformation and experiencing the fullness of the life that God intends for us.

Asking For Strength

I asked for Strength…and God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom…and God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity…and God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage…and God gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love…and God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors…and God gave me Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted…and everything I needed!

April 24, 2017May 25, 2019

Ten Lies that Sabotage Our Recovery – Part 1

You can go through the best rehab program in the world and still relapse. There are no guarantees that you won’t. Why? Because the “X” factor in your recovery, in part, is what you choose to believe. In the end, what you choose to believe will either enable you to keep walking in your freedom from addiction, or it will sabotage your recovery. In this two-part post we will be looking at the 10 lies that that most commonly sabotage our recovery and rob us of our newfound freedom from the demon of addiction.

Lie #1: “I Will Be Able To Drink/Use Again Someday”

Our best chance for recovery lies in total abstinence from all mind-altering substances.The reason we buy into this lie is because we want to be like everyone else…”normal”. So we convince ourselves that we will get to the place where we can control our addictive behaviors. We desperately want to believe that we can still drink or smoke a joint with our friends and be able to handle it like they can. Nothing will sabotage our recovery any faster than this lie of denial. The truth is that we are powerless over mind-altering substances. Alcoholics may fool themselves into thinking that they can no longer drink whiskey but can have a beer every now and again. This is a growing problem in AA as members will say that they are “sober” while still occasionally smoking marijuana.What we are doing in our self-deception is compartmentalizing our alcohol or drug abuse so that we can keep an “ace up our sleeve” in case the going gets tough. Drinking or using remains an option for us. When we keep this kind of secret, we are sabotaging our recovery. What we need to do is share this secret – tell the truth.

Lie #2: “Now That I Am Clean and Sober, I’m Good To Go!”

Another lie that sabotages our recovery is believing the lie that “Now that I haven’t had a drink or used in the past 30 days, I’ve got this think licked!” Breaking the bonds of your addiction is just the first step of your recovery process. Recovery is ultimately about recovering our spiritual self and identity. While overcoming the physical bond of our addiction is a great first step, we can’t be deceived in believing the lie that it’s no longer a problem. Much more than just putting the cork in the bottle needs to be done to ensure full recovery. We need to understand and admit that our addiction began as a solution to some deep-rooted emotional problem or issue in our lives. Then one day we find that our addiction has become as much or more of a problem than our original problem. To experience a full and complete recovery, we must face both the physical addiction and our underlying deep-rooted issues. This lie will sabotage our recovery very quickly if we fail to address the other side of our addiction issue…our emotional hurts and pains.

Lie #3: “Now I Can Help My Friends Overcome Their Addiction”

We have to pursue our recovery with the same enthusiasm and energy that we had when we were drinking or using drugs! Sometimes in our sobriety, we convince ourselves that “I am strong enough to go to my old addict friends and help them overcome their addiction.” This is a dangerous lie that sabotages our recovery. Proverbs 6:27 warns, “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?” In other words, by going back to the very addictive environment and friends from which you came, chances are real good that you will get burned. We need to understand that addiction overrides our best thinking and even our basic instinct for self-preservation. We have to get into the habit of asking ourselves, “What’s best for my recovery” and then acting upon the answer to that question. More than likely, what’s best for your recovery is to avoid those people and places of your addictive past. We must be willing to do things 180 degrees different from what we have been doing. We need to have nothing short of total commitment to recovery. If we are not 110 percent committed to our recovery, our efforts will most likely sabotage our recovery.

Lie #4: “I Don’t Have To Share All My Secrets”

There’s an old saying in recovery, “We’re only as sick as our secrets.” Secrets live in darkness and in the shadows. As they live in these shadows, they spit out lies of shame and guilt in our minds…and they are very loud voices. Honesty exposes these lies, along with its shame and guilt, to the light and power of TRUTH. This is when shame and guilt begin to loose its power and influence over us.Honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are essential for recovery. Addictions feed on deceit, distrust, and dishonesty. We are driven to go to any lengths to drink or get high. As a result, we often violate our own personal values – no matter how strong or good they are – but not without consequences. To guard against this lie from sabotaging our recovery, we need to be able to discuss all the things that we don’t want to talk about, especially our secrets…the things that we believe we would never share with anyone. At the heart of recovery lies the notion that we must challenge our old ideas, which are rooted in a faulty pride system. Neutralizing the power of false pride and loosening its control over our life is critical. The more open we are, the more we are able to communicate. The more we share what we are ashamed of, the less power and control our false pride has in our life and the more serenity we experience.

Lie #5: “But I’m The Exception”

Humility is the spiritual foundation of recovery. People who do best in recovery are those who surrender and follow suggestion. One of the most common lies that sabotage our recovery is to negotiate…to pick and choose what we think what will be helpful. One person might say, “I don’t need to go to a meeting every day for the first 90 days of recovery. Two meetings a week are plenty enough for me.” Or, “I don’t need a sponsor. I can do this by myself.” Or, “I don’t have to work all the Steps. One and Twelve are enough for me.”This kind of thinking is based on the mistaken belief that we are special and unique and that we don’t have to do what everyone else has done to develop a solid, robust recovery. This dangerous attitude has led many new-comers, and even some old-timers, back into the depths of despair and relapse. We are special and unique, but not in the sense of our addiction.

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction or in the midst of a relapse, we at New Life Spirit Recovery are here for you to help you overcome your struggle. Shame, guilt and feelings of failure can often times be a factor as to why we don’t seek out help with our addiction or relapse, especially if we have already been through other rehab programs before. We understand the powerful control that these feelings have, but we also know how that love and grace has the power to swallow up your shame and guilt and put in its place hope and life. Don’t wait any longer and contact us today at 866-543-3361 and let us help you be an overcomer!

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